As an update, last night after I wrote my post about Nate, Nate's mother texted and asked if I was available to help Nate with a homework project due today. The hour of near silence we spent in each other's virtual company made me smile at my previous sentimental epiphanies. Not that we have not come a long way, but last night's class was enough to remind me that progress is often in the pattern of staggering steps forward and jumps backwards.
Just as has happened many times before, Nate's mother hovered over him for the first 10 minutes of our session. She admonished him for not answering my questions about his assignment. She pushed him to answer on details. It's well-meaning, but the dynamic never works well. Nate is good at silence, and it is his defense of choice. He plays dumb or acts like he hasn't heard. If that doesn't work, he resorts to mild outbursts of "Mom!" When she does leave, things are a little easier. I scan through the information about the subject I can find on my end (book summaries, etc.), and ask him the occasional question.
Sometimes it helps if I get something wrong. For the book assignment last night, I had never read the book and made it obvious. While looking up the summary, I asked a few questions about the plot and was ok with the mistakes I made. It was a long hour, though, and a lot of the time I was wondering whether I could really help at all. Nate is smart enough to figure out such a simple assignment.
Thankfully, my dog was having a truly amazing episode of sulphuric farting. She was curled up under the table at my feet, and every few minutes I heard the typical little raspberry sound. It was such a stinky episode that I was forced to cover my nose with my shirt. I apologized to Nate and I think it loosened the silent tension a little.
Tips:
* Parental presence is negatively correlated with productivity
* It's ok to show your ignorance on a subject that a student knows more about
* Use something as potentially stinky as a dog's gas-attack to break the tension
No comments:
Post a Comment